On love || Small talk Sunday

Hey cutecumbers and welcome to another post!
Before we get into the today's topic, I want to say one cool thing and another really cool thing.
First of all- look at the blog look! My blog got a makeover, just like I did :D
And then... Second thing... I am launching my very first YOUTUBE CHANNEL! Whaaat? Yeah, I am uploading on Tuesday (if everything goes as planned), my channel is already set up with all the links and channel art and I have my topic prepared well! Stay in tune, link will be in my Contact me page and bellow this post as well :)


On to the post... I am young. I have seen less then 2% of the world. My relationship experience is not vast. I had 3 long relationships and 3 one night stands. I dabbled into a lot of first kisses though. I know that I may not be completely right about this topic. But it seemed that this topic is fitting for this Sunday, especially with what happened with my boyfriend the previous week.
I will not get into the details, as it wouldn't be comfortable for him (it's quite personal), but we had a huge fight. I'm saying insults were flying around, feathers were drifting through the air, less attractive qualities were called out. And we had never had that kind of a fight. Or at least not that I remember. And, it made me think, as I was watching this man in front of me, this man which was breaking down, begging me to cooporate with him (i'm a horrible person) - love is a choice.

                   

We all crave that movie-esque love, where the boy falls in love with a girl on the train, while she's reading her book and looking all effortlessly cute. Their relationship will progress into starlight and pixie dust, everything is so... Effortless.
Sadly, everybody needs to realize this at one point- love is not effortless. It's hard. It's hard work, adaption, compromises. It's staying up with them when they have the stomach flue, it's holding their hand when they have something frightening ahead of them, it's advising them- honestly and truthfully, without sugarcoating anything. And also, starlight and pixie dust both vanish at one point.
Sooner or later, the relationship will go a bit... Stale? Yes, stale. You guys will get in a rut, an easy routine. You get to know their habits, they get to know yours. He will come over to your place every week, on the same day, at the same time. You will drink your coffees, from the same muggs, in the same spot, both in your respective places in the kitchen. You will stop combing your hair, because... Well, he already saw you in your most fucked up version. You will stop buying new lingerie because it won't matter- you will do it in the same position(s) anyways. Everything becomes... Monotone, dull, simple. The adventure is gone.
We all heard of that honeymoon phase in a relationship, and I am a living proof that that thing is true. At the beginning you will love everything he/she says simply because it's new. It's interesting. It's like nothing you've ever heard before because no person is like the other. But after a while, all of those things will be already heard, his new stories will most likely have you in them, you will get bored. 
But, when you listen to all the long married couples, you will notice a pattern.
When they stumble upon a problem, they choose open communication. They choose to see where the problem is. They choose to love each other, no matter what.
                                                                                                                                                                                         

(Needless to say, don't stay in an abusive relationship. Just don't, babe, you'll thank me later)
So what? Your relationship is going stale- fix it. Don't say fuck it, give up so early, or wash your hands from all the problems. Try seeing where the issue is and be objective about it. Look at it from your partner's angle.
When we were fighting, we decided to go to a local Irish pub. I suggested it, partially because I am more civil in public, partially because he is less loud in public. I have a thing for yelling, I cry really easily...I don't know what is it, but I just don't appreciate it. And when we were done throwing tantrums, we decided to get a drink. We were more chatting about our problem, joking around, and honestly... Having fun. It was a while since we went on a date, and even though we had a fight mere seconds ago, I still enjoyed myself a lot. And so did he. What we needed was to go out, to try more stuff, to do more stuff outside our safe places and our clouds.
Buy a new dress, comb your hair. Listen to his rambles about board games and card games and in return he will listen to you. Go out together, watch a movie together. Try out a new kink/fetish/position (but be safe!). Listen to each other, to each other's needs and wishes. Make plans, for today, tomorrow, next 5 and 10 years. Commit to the relationship. Don't expect stuff to happen, put in work and effort. Nothing is gonna fall to you from the sky. Both of you need to learn to forgive, to learn to care more and to learn to grow together.
Remember that love is a conscious choice, that choosing them over anyone else is your choice, that you can always leave. But just because you can doesn't mean that you always should. Choose your overall happiness, your as in both of yours. Choose you, always. Because, he was there for you when no one ever was, when you were going through ups and downs, through sick days off and heavy work days, through failed cookies and awesome pastas, through fights, tears and giggles.
Overcome your problems by teamwork.
Choose love.



Omega

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