"You lack self-discipline" || BLOGVEMBER DAY 12

Hello cutecumbers, welcome to blogvember day 12!
As a direct contrast to the previous post, I have a serious post for you. Not like anything I have written out before, to be honest.
Recently, I've been talking a lot to my mom about myself. And even here, I've been writing about habits and motivation and all of that fun stuff... But what I never really mentioned is, that all of those things are futile, if you lack self-discipline. Which I do, and I am sure many of you are as well...
Lacking self-discipline is writing out your to-do list and planning out the perfect day for yourself, and then just not feeling like it. Lacking self-discipline is figuring out your best skin care routine and then not sticking to it. Lacking self-discipline is wanting to wake up at certain time, and then just not waking up. Not being accountable. Not being what you can be. Not doing what you want to do.
Why do we do this? Because of short term enjoyment. Simple as that. But what people don't realize is this:

I am aware of this, and it is making life difficult for me.

I know that if I managed to wake up each morning at the same time, I will feel better.
I know that if I stick to my to-do list, I will have enough time to do everything which I want to.
I know that if I do my routines, I will feel good about myself and my life.
For some reason, people don't think that I see this. People apparently think I am blind. In these past few months, my ultimate goal was to be honest with myself. Always. Brutally honest. And, even though it gave me more insights in my abilities and strengths, it also gave me an ugly picture which I may or may not have been ready to face- I have flaws. I mean... I knew I had flaws before, don't get me wrong or anything, but... Recently I realized how bad those flaws are, and how much are they affecting me. And, it was a slap in the face. I needed to sit down, to get over the shock.
I mean, now that I think about it, why didn't I get into college and others did? It wasn't that they were smarter or dumber than me, it wasn't about anything else but self-discipline. Since I lack that skill, for it is exactly that, I:

  • didn't show up to class
  • didn't do my readings
  • didn't do my homework
  • didn't study enough for midterms and exams
  • didn't have all the information
When you think about it, that was all it took. Self-discipline.
Why didn't I stick up with this posting schedule? Self-discipline.
Why didn't I stick up to a skin care routine? Self-discipline.
Why don't I wake up when I want? Self- discipline.
It's so simple... And yet... It's not. How is that possible? Well, with any skill, you need time to perfect it. And, if it took you years to identify the problem, and if you have a problem realizing that the problem is in you... It's gonna take a lot of time.
Maybe, if I present it to you, as I presented it to myself... Maybe it will be easier.
I mentioned time above, and time is what I will use here to explain to you how this is harming you.
Go and take a piece of paper and a pen. Now. It doesn't matter what kind of pen, just do it.
Write down time on the right side. Start from 5 AM, finish with midnight. Okay? Now, write down how your ideal productive day would look like. If you're something like me, it would look like this:

05 AM |                                              
06 AM wake up                                  
07 AM drink coffee, write to do list    
08 AM get ready/ morning routine      
09 AM work on blog
10 AM study
11 AM |
12 PM lunch
13 PM get ready for work
14 PM work
15 PM |
16 PM |
17 PM |
18 PM |
19 PM |
20 PM work out
21 PM dinner
22 PM shower/ evening routine
23 PM sleep
00 AM |

Now, and right next to it, write down how you actually spend your time.
Take a moment, and be honest with yourself. It's crucial here. Write down your average wake up time, your activities, your personal "self-care" moments.
Do you see the difference? Do you see how much time you're wasting?
Why don't you do what you want? What is in your way? You. 
Identify what you want and why you want it. Make a list of all those things, and then... Add a date to it. Start from today. For example:

  • I want to work out 3 times a day.     22nd November    
  • I want to work 4 hours a day.           29th November
  • I want to do my morning routine.     6th December
  • I want to do my evening routine.      13th December
What you're doing here is this- writing out start dates. You want to do one thing at a time. If you start making huge changes all at once, you will get overwhelmed. When you feel overwhelmed you go back to your old ways. Try achieving the first check box- Exercise 3 times in the next week, starting November 22nd. That's it. Do just that. Then, once it's 29th of November, add working for 4 hours but don't stop with the first thing on the list. Just add the second to the first. Prioritize well as to what you want and need to implement first. Maybe you really need to start doing all of your homework. Well, do that first then. Or maybe you need to lose weight. Then do exercising first. Keep track on your check boxes and try slowly. If you fail one day don't stop. Just continue on like that fail didn't happen. It will take you time, and a lot of work in order to become what you want.
Lack of self-discipline can be obvious in your environment, in the way you dress and look, in your academic/ career achievements, hell- even in the people around you. I strongly advise you that you do something about it, if not what you just read. But, really... Change yourself. Make yourself the best version of you that you can be. Don't be another obstacle in your way. Honey, everybody is already putting your shine out, don't be another person dulling yourself. 
I will probs do an update on this in about a month. I am considering this a challenge of sorts and I want to see what happens in about a month or more. If you want to join me, comment down bellow or hit me up on Twitter or IG! Join the cutecumber family!
Stay safe,
lots of love


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